In the case of someone in your life (alive or deceased) with whom you have had ongoing and conflicting, upsetting or negative feelings, it can be very difficult to ‘let go’ of the emotional wound created – whether it be sadness, fear, anger or a combination.
For your own sake, healing this wound is important – it will allow you to move forward peacefully with your life again, and to no longer be affected by the feelings of the past. It prevents them from shaping or influencing your future choices, which means that you will avoid creating a life that is coloured by past regret, or destined to repeat the lessons of your earlier years. Instead, you will have clarity and an unbiased and free place to create the life you desire, and to make positive choices from.
A simplistic example is this; imagine that someone hurt you in the past, and you’re still affected by it, this experience will continue to exert and influence on and shape the way you deal with future situations that are reminiscent of the relationship you had with this person. It could also cause you to subconsciously seek out similar relationships where you have a chance to repeat the experience (or lesson) seeking a different outcome to previously.
Essentially the Burning Letter Ritual is about letting go of, and releasing negative energy that has remained with you from the past. Letting go, is central to Shamanic teachings which emphasize the importance of releasing the old. The old is defined as that which no longer serves us. When we let go of the old, we are doing so with the specific intention of inviting in the new. So this ritual is a clearing of the way, a readying for what is to come.
Additionally, letting go of old negative energies, and healing past emotional wounds creates greater psychological wellbeing and facilitates a growing sense of wellbeing. As we release old, difficult energies it is also easier to feel our connection and oneness with the universe – what hurts us, creates walls around us, letting go frees us to re-connect. This means that the process of letting go creates an opportunity to invite in the positive and new. Enabling us to choose what we bring into our lives, rather than struggling to make choices, whilst impaired by the past.
A powerful method of healing these feelings is the Burning Letter Ritual:
Take all the time you need to write your letter for the Burning Letter Ritual. If it takes a few days or a few hours, don’t see this as ”too hard”, it’s important, and it allows you to see the many ways you’ve been affected by this person and the damage it has created within you. When you’ve finished your letter put it in a safe place. (do not post it, send it, email it – show it to no one)
You must give yourself time and perhaps permission to write down all that you have bottled up inside. Be sure to include everything you feel about this person and your relationship with them in your letter. Describe why you feel the way you do. How their actions made you feel and what they caused you to experience. What have they changed, hurt, or fractured within you because of the impact they have had on your life?
For this ritual to have the desired healing and cleansing effect it is essential that you genuinely commit yourself to the process. This means that you will commit yourself to taking the time and the space you need to thoroughly capture the experiences, events and most importantly the feelings that are so difficult in written word.
You have to write down the things that have made you feel shame or shameful, stupid, scared, lost or judged, or questioned your own judgment or sanity. Because this is a process of letting go, it is very important not to suppress or repress anything, as painful as it can be to revisit the past, this process requires it. Much like when keeping a diary or journal you are encouraged to pour your feelings onto the paper in front of you. It is once only, and you can remind yourself that it is for the purpose of healing.
It is important to keep in mind that you are doing this ritual for yourself, not for anyone else. You are worth the time and energy it requires for you to complete this step.
When you have finished, it is time to move on to the next step, which is the burning of the letter.
Burning Letter Ritual
- Take a fireproof bowl, your letter, a lighter or a match and go outside.
- Read your letter out loud, read it as if you were talking directly to that person. Use your emotions, and give voice and expression to everything you have written. Take time to feel your feelings, there is no rush, and the more energy and determination you give to this process the more powerful it becomes.
- When complete, hold the letter in your hands and say out loud, I release this person and their energy from my life. I release them with gratitude and love for the universe which brings me healing.
- Tear your letter into quarters, and place it in the fireproof bowl. Light it and let it burn. As you watch the flames, thank the element of fire which has burned your letter.
- Scatter the ashes remaining in the bowl on the ground and thank the element of earth and the element of air for accepting and sweeping away the remnants of your letter.
- Return inside and wash out your fireproof bowl. As you do this thank the element of water for washing away the dust and burned fragments left in the bowl.
- Now thank the universe, God, creator etc, and thank them for allowing you to release the negative energy into the universe, and to free yourself from its power. Ask the universe that this energy may be transformed to light and that it be a positive experience sharing healing powers with all – as we are all connected energetically, all healing work brings universal benefit.
