By Kevin Reed
I have been thinking about this word, ‘TRUST” as I hear it used in the context of ‘trusting your partner’.
I have decided that when you say to yourself, ‘I trust my partner’ – what you are really saying is that your partner is behaving in a manner that you expect. Is that not power and control?
Would it not be better to say to yourself, ‘I have no need to trust my partner, because I accept my partner as they are’? It has just got me thinking, this word ‘trust’. If somebody asked me if I trust my partner, what they are really asking me is, is my partner faithful to me. My answer will be, I do not need to trust my partner, I accept my partner as they are.
It is almost like this word ‘trust’ is something we need for our own security, power and control over other people. If my partner does as I expect, I trust; and if they do not, then I am betrayed and do not trust. Is not it all about one’s own sense of expectation?
Then I got thinking, what other words do we use that underneath them all are more about ourselves rather than the other people we aim them at? I came up with quite a few words: Commitment, Trust, Faith, Honesty, Knowing and even Love!
We bandy these words around like a set of rules to confirm that we have really got what we think we have in terms of relationships. Yet, in my way of thinking, it is only when you have to use these words, this tells me that you really do not have what you think you have got in terms of relationships. Otherwise, why would you even have to use them?
- I don’t need to trust, I already know who I am.
- I don’t need to commit, I already accept.
- I don’t need to be honest, I have nothing to hide.
- I don’t need to know, it is already happening.
- I don’t need to love, I am.
Doesn’t it make you think? It certainly has me thinking.
I am interested in what you think?
Is the word ‘trust’ a word with strings attached?
Hmmm these are just random thoughts at the moment, but I think that there is something to be uncovered here……isn’t it interesting what you think sometimes?
In Tantra, we live in the moment and that moment is perfect. In the moment everything is perfect. The moment is a space for ‘soul’. The thinking about the moment, the expectation, planning or even manipulation leading to a moment; the looking in hindsight and assessment after a moment – these things are the space of the mind. So here we have a polarity between mind and soul. The mind tries to understand and assimilate yet the soul has no need to be anything other than an experience of the moment.
So it is with Trust. In Tantra the question of trust is a question of the mind, yet Tantra is an art of the soul. If you asked a Tantrica if they trusted, then the answer just maybe, that that question is a nonsense. To trust implies that there must be mis-trust, a duality of thought, whereas Tantra is a monad of being – trust is not an issue because everything is about natural unfoldment without agenda and a tantrica innately flows with the tides interwoven in the experience of the never-ending moment. A tantrica neither owes nor owns and trust is a question about ownership, so Trust is not part of a Tantric belief and way of life.
Now this is interesting, because if trust is not a part of the art of tantra – then the upside is that a Tantrica can never be hurt by issues of trust; leave those dramas to the players of the mind.
